Girl Problems
by Innoverse
Summary: Percy gives Jason, Frank, and Leo some well-needed relationship advice. Two-shot, Percabeth, Jasper, and Frazel. Plenty of humor!
1. Turn On the Charm

**Hi! This is Innoverse, with my second story today. I'm trying to make up for a my lack of posting... and this idea was just too good not to post. See what kind of fanfiction gold daydreams can bring you?**

**I hope you laugh. ;)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own HoO.**

* * *

**_- Turn On the Charm: Percy's POV -_**

* * *

Percy was alone on the deck of the _Argo II_, practicing with Riptide. The others were down below deck somewhere, doing their own thing, so Percy had taken the opportunity to practice and keep his skills sharp without having to deal with criticisms from the other members of the ship (not that they had much to criticize anyways). Since they didn't have an dummies on board, he was just practicing maneuverability—keeping his swings fast and fluid.

Also, it was a distraction from the quest, and having yet another Great Prophecy resting on his shoulders like dead weight. He started getting into it, letting everything else slip away and his full concentration go into practicing. He didn't have time to think about anything else—and that was the way he liked it. It cleared his mind of anything except slice, dodge, stab, repeat. It was kind of therapeutic.

He was getting so far into his focus that he didn't hear the footsteps come up behind him. "Hey, Percy!"

He jumped, loosing his grip on his sword, and sending it across the deck. He nearly tripped over himself when he turned around, only to see the rest of the male population (minus Tyson) of the ship looking at him expectantly.

His first thought? _Oh gods, what did they ruin now?_

He walked over and grabbed Riptide off the ground. "What's up?"

They all looked at the ground and blushed in unison, so Percy knew something was going on. Of course, he blurted his first comment. "Please don't tell me you're coming out of the closet to me."

All of their heads snapped up at once, eyes wide. "No!" they yelped.

"Dude, why would you think that?" Leo asked, and then waved it off. "Never mind. I don't want to know."

"So, then what is it?" he asked. "Because I was kind of doing something..."

Frank elbowed Jason a little. Jason cleared his throat. "We need some... um, advice."

"About what?"

"Girls," Frank added.

Percy groaned internally. "So you ask me?"

"Well, unless you expect us to ask Tyson, you are the only one on the ship with a girlfriend," Jason said.

"And," Leo added, "she's _Annabeth_."

Percy glared at him a little. "What's _that_ supposed to mean?"

"Uh, um..." Leo stuttered. "She's harder to get?"

Percy blew his hair out of his eyes. "What do you guys _want_?"

"Help," Frank said. "Jason and I don't know how to ask... and Leo... well, I don't know what's up with him."

"He probably needs help getting a girl to give him a different reaction then a slap to the face," Jason muttered. Leo stuck his tongue out.

"Quite honestly, I'm not the best person to ask for this," Percy said.

"Nonsense!" Leo said. "Chicks at Camp Half-Blood were all over you when you went missing and Annabeth wasn't around. They wouldn't shut up about you! You just need to show me how to turn on the charm, man!"

Percy stared at him blankly. "Turn on... the charm."

Leo nodded eagerly. Percy burst out laughing. "What?" Leo demanded. "What's so funny?"

"Leo," he choked in between laughs, "I don't 'turn on the charm.' I don't do anything to girls."

Leo frowned. "Then how the heck do so many girls like you?"

Percy shrugged. "Beats me. Ever since I turned fourteen..."

He stared. "You're meaning to tell me that you chased after Annabeth for two years when you had loads of hot chicks practically wrapped around your little finger?"

"What's wrong with that?" he asked.

"There's nothing wrong with that," Jason cut in. "Leo doesn't understand love."

"Apparently," Frank muttered.

"I do understand love!" Leo protested, studying Percy. "How do you get chicks..." he muttered to himself. After a minute of awkward staring, Leo snapped his fingers. "I've got it!"

"Oh gods," Jason mumbled.

"Your father was the charmer in the old stories, wasn't he?" Leo mused, stroking an imaginary beard. "I mean, he, like, got with everything that breathed."

"_Excuse_ _me_?"

"So it must be in your genes!" Leo concluded. "But Hephaestus—"

"Is the ugliest Olympian and has an unfaithful wife," Jason cut in. "Not to mention, his wife is the goddess of love. She might be messing with you because you're her husband's... infidelity."

"But if she doesn't love Vulcan in the first place," Frank asked, "then why would she care?"

"Good questions..." Leo said. "But no answers bringing me closer to a lovely lady..."

Percy sighed. "Whatever, Leo. So what's up with you and Frank, Jason?"

"We have our... uh, 'lovely ladies,' as Leo put it, but we don't know how to tell them that we have feelings for them," Jason said. He and Frank blushed.

"Alright," Percy said, about fed up with this 'girl' business. "Then let's fix that."

Percy hefted Riptide and began to walk towards the hatch that went below deck, the others following him, looking confused. "Hey," Frank asked. "Where are we going? What are you going to do?"

"You'll see," he said as they descended the steps and went down onto the floor with the bedrooms. Four doors were closed—one to Tyson's room, one to Annabeth's, one to Hazel's, and one to Piper's. "You both say you don't know how to start the conversation, right?"

Jason and Frank nodded. "Yeah," Jason agreed.

"Then let's start it," Percy said, and marched up to Piper's door. Jason's eyes got wide when he realized what he was about to do, but it was too late. Percy knocked on Piper's door—three strong raps that would've woken anyone or startled them from what they were doing.

Piper answered and looked confused. "Percy? What are—"

"JASON HAS STRONG FEELINGS FOR YOU BUT DOES NOT KNOW HOW TO TELL YOU," he stated, and then marched over to Hazel's door, leaving Piper looked dumbstruck and Jason bright red.

"Percy—" Frank pleaded as Percy knocked on the door. Annabeth heard all of the commotion, and decided poked her head outside her door as Hazel opened hers.

"Hey, Percy," she said. "What's up?"

"FRANK HAS STRONG FEELINGS FOR YOU BUT DOES NOT KNOW HOW TO TELL YOU," he recited again, and walked over to Leo.

He grabbed his shoulders and shook him a little. "STOP USING TERRIBLE PICK-UP LINES AND CRUSHING ON JASON'S OLDER SISTER."

He let Leo go, and turned to look at everyone. They were standing in the hallway, looking completely confused and embarrassed—all except for Annabeth. She was trying to hold in a laugh.

Percy swung Riptide's blade up so that it rested on his shoulder. He promptly turned and walked away, calling over his shoulder, "You're welcome."

* * *

**Ah, you've gotta love Percy's bluntness, don't you? Hey, it's what you get for calling his father a player.**

**Reviews are appreciated. :)**


	2. Two Out of Three

**Hi! And here's the reactions! It's kind of short... but plenty funny. Haha. :)**

**I hope you enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own HoO.**

* * *

**_- Two Out of Three: Piper's POV -_**

* * *

They all watched in silence as Percy strolled back up to the top deck, sword thrown over his shoulder, whistling to himself like he didn't have a care in the world. The rest were still standing in the hallway, looking at each other awkwardly—except for Annabeth. She looked kind of amused as she watched him walk away, as if she was trying to figure out what had led to this series of events.

Piper couldn't help but wonder the same thing.

Jason was standing right next to her now, blushing and looking at her out of the corner of his eye like he was afraid she might explode. Piper was about to explode, actually—but not with anger. With happiness. Jason had been kind of acting weird around her, so she'd thought he'd probably decided to go with Reyna and didn't want to disappoint her, so she'd pretty much given up the idea of she and him being a couple. But now, since Percy had pretty much thrown everything out in the open (she'd have to thank him for that later), Piper knew that he had just really been nervous about asking her out.

She was about to have an Aphrodite-style freakout right then and there in the hallway.

Hazel looked about just as pleased, looking at Frank happily, who was blushing all the way down to the collar of his shirt. She and Hazel had discussed their relationship once, when Hazel had come to Piper for help. Hazel had told her Frank was terrible at admitting things like that and that he was self conscious and pretty darn shy. She'd been a little surprised that a child of Mars would be shy, but Hazel had said he was just a big teddy bear on the inside. So Hazel had been worried about him not asking her out because he was too nervous about it. Guess that's not happening, is it?

Leo, on the other hand, was the only one in the hallway not looking pleased or amused. He had his arms folded, and frown plastered on his face as he stared at the place where Percy had previously been standing. He looked a little miffed about Percy's advice, but Piper thought that he probably needed to hear that. If she had to be the practice-girl for any more of Leo's pick-up lines, she was going to throw him over the side of the boat.

There was a beat of silence.

"Jerk," Leo huffed.

That's when Annabeth completely lost it. She leaned her head against the door frame, and started laughing hysterically. It wasn't long before Piper started to chuckle, and then was laughing so hard she had to lean against Jason for support. Hazel started laughing too, and pretty soon all of the girls were just laughing at the boys, who were still standing there, dumbstruck and embarrassed.

"What did I tell you?" Annabeth choked out, wiping a tear from her eye. "Don't bother him when he's training."

"It probably doesn't help that Leo pretty much insulted his father," Frank muttered.

Piper finally managed to control herself, and stopped laughing. She stood up straight and held her arms out to Jason, pulling him into a hug. "Don't worry," she murmured into his ear. "I like you too, Jason."

He blushed again and muttered something like, "Okay."

Hazel just took the direct approached. "Yes, Frank Zhang, I will be your girlfriend."

He turned even redder as Hazel hugged him. "Uh... duh... okay."

"I'm still single!" Leo complained.

Annabeth shrugged. "Two out of three."

* * *

**Haha! Poor Leo, still the odd man out.**

**Dr. Love strikes again! Oh, he should just work for the Aphrodite cabin. Show up on the Demeter doorstep with Travis in tow; TRAVIS STOLL HAS STRONG FEELINGS FOR KATIE GARDENER BUT DOES NOT KNOW HOW TO EXPRESS THEM WITHOUT A PRANK AND/OR BEING A TOTAL JERK.**

**Anyways, reviews are appreciated. :)**


End file.
